Category Archives: Devotionals

The Purpose of Pain

Photo credit: Joyce McCown

 

We’ve all heard it said before that pain is actually a gift, because it alerts us to the reality that something is wrong in our bodies. I have been a long time struggler with back pain. When we are in our 20s, we sometimes do stupid things. These things can hurt our bodies for so many years to come. If only we realized that when we were 20something…. My back problems began one snowy winter’s day when I was in grad school and living with three girlfriends. Two of those girlfriends were not in grad school, but were workin’ ladies, and they had to go to work despite the snow. (It was indeed so much snow that college classes were canceled, if that tells you anything.) Being a dutiful friend and roommate, I purposed myself to help the gals get their cars cleaned off and on the road. But four ladies living on their own for the first time don’t happen to own a lot of snow removal equipment. So we turned to the only things we had: cleaning tools. 20 something Catherine thought that shoveling snow out from around the cars with a dustpan was a good idea. Stupid. So that is where my back problems began. Ever since then, I’ve had issues with my hips rotating. As I approach 40, my body just doesn’t want to cooperate, more and more. It’s really frustrating to live with back pain. It prevents me from doing the things I want to do with my kids…. It keeps me awake at night…. It interferes with my gardening…. THE NERVE.

 

This fall my chiro took some new x-rays because my pain just wasn’t improving. She showed them to me, and even with my untrained eye that has no medical background whatsoever, I let out a low gasp and said, “Oh my!” My hip was horribly rotated. No wonder I was having so much pain! The pain was an indicator to me that something wasn’t right. So my doctor began treating my hip with this new knowledge in view. She told me in no uncertain terms the things that I was not to do which would put undue strain on my hip and cause rotation. For months I was vigilant about these no-no’s. I was SO careful. I continued my exercises and stretches, and I stayed away from the restricted postures, movements, etc. And my hip got better! It was amazing to be pain free!

 

But as the months passed, I got lax. I didn’t stop exercising or stretching, but I ventured into some of the no-no positions, like crossing my legs while seated, or getting down onto the floor to play with the kids in certain positions. I cocked my hip as I was making my shopping list. I lifted with my back, not my legs. I wasn’t vigilant any longer because there wasn’t any pain. You probably aren’t surprised to hear that the pain came back.

 

Isn’t this just like my walk of faith? I am a faithful Bible-reader, morning and night. I pray. I listen to worship music. I attend church and Bible study. But sometimes, I also venture into postures that God says I should not take. Sometimes I grow lax against wrong behaviors. I notice that this is especially true when I am not walking through something painful or difficult. Just like I grew lax when my back pain went away, it’s in the good, easy times that my faith can become lax, that my posture can slouch before the God of the universe.

 

The painful times emotionally and spiritually often serve as an intense motivator for me, spurring me on towards growth in Christ. So I’m thankful for those hard times, for the pain, because it keeps me vigilant. It keeps me careful to avoid wrong things. It keeps me moving in the right direction, rather than the wrong ones. Pain motivates growth.

 

James 1 speaks to this: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (vv 2-4).

 

I have been noticing in myself lately that I’m not terribly good at “considering it pure joy whenever I face trials of many kinds.” But when I take a step back and consider the issue of physical pain in my life, I know that I should be grateful for the trials in my life, because they keep me from becoming lax. As the text says, they do produce perseverance in my faith. They do make me mature. The trials I experience are to my benefit if I face them with joy and perseverance. When I meet a painful trial, the choice is up to me:

 

Will I face it with joy and faith? Or will I grow frustrated and anxious?

 

Will I persevere? Or will I give up and give in to defeat?

 

Will I allow it to produce growth and maturity? Or will I become angry and bitter instead?

 

Just like the pain in my back spurs me on towards physical growth and healing, I want the trials of my life to spur me on towards spiritual growth and maturity. I want them to make me better, not bitter.

 

Is there a trail in your life that you need to view with new eyes today? Ask the Lord to show you how it can be to your benefit and do your best to embrace it with joy. Even behind hard gifts, the heart of the Giver is good and is always for you.

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Lavish Kindness

I guess God really has some things to say to me about my words lately. I shared recently about what God showed me when I caught one of my kids moving her messes instead of cleaning them up like she was supposed to. God convicted me that I was guilty of moving my messes with my words when I spread negative talk about situations, or when I vented too much about others instead of going directly to them with my offense. Shortly after this thought-provoking clean up session, I had an experience where someone showered me with the kindest words. It was the icing on the cake to this lesson. I know what negative words can do – I’ve experienced that so many times. But the generosity of this stranger’s words really showed me the impact of being so generous with kind words.

 

Hannah and I were recently out shopping in Home Goods. We had some time and some gift cards to squander. We were looking at all the pretty things. Feeling all the soft blankets. Wandering to our hearts’ content.

In the kitchen organization aisle (one of the BEST aisles in the store!!!) we happened upon a kind older woman with her little dog. We exchanged a bit of small talk about the dog and the store. And then she proceeded to ask me if I was Hannah’s mom or sister. I chuckled and told her I was mom, and I appreciated her kindness so much because my 40th birthday was fast approaching. She was dumbfounded! Truly flabbergasted. She gushed on about how I “couldn’t possibly be….” I looked “far too young to be…” Now, she was a complete stranger to me, so maybe her eyesight wasn’t the best?! But I will never know! All I will know and what I will remember forever, was how kind she was to me, how generous, how lavish her words were. And she was a complete stranger.

 

There are many wonderful friends and family members in my life who are generous with their kind words towards me. I know the balm that the words of a friend can be. But I have rarely been so positively impacted by a stranger’s words. Until this experience, I never considered the potential of my impact as a stranger to someone else. What I realized through this encounter is that every person I cross paths with, stranger or not, is an opportunity. There are three choices on the path: I can say nothing, leave no impact. I can be rude, and leave a negative impact, or I can be lavish and generous with kind words. That stranger in Home Goods left me feeling like I was walking in the clouds that day. To think, I could have that kind of impact in another complete stranger’s day, if I took the time. I’m often in a rush when I’m out and about, or working, or just doing the daily grind. What if I slowed down enough to really see people? What if I was generous with kind words, intentional about lavishing them on others?

 

Proverbs 16:24 says, “Kind words are like honey— sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” I certainly learned how true this verse is on that day in Home Goods.

Both of these lessons on my words – the messes of negative words, and the power of kind words – are also reflected in a well-known Proverb. Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue can bring life or death.”

Every word is an opportunity. If only we were more careful when choosing what to say! What would your world be like if you considered your words each time you opened your mouth, if you filtered them through these two verses:  

Are these words bringing life, or death? 

Will these words be sweet to the soul of the listener?  

Because of this experience, I want to slow down, to see people, to be intentional, and to see the opportunities to lavish kind words on another, to choose words that bring life and sweetness to someone else’s soul.

It costs you nothing to be generous with your words. And you never know the impact you may have on some nearly-40-year-old’s day!

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Moving the Mess

We have a nightly routine around my house to help stay on top of the kids’ mess. About 15 minutes before their bedtime routine begins, play ends and clean-up begins. Anything that’s left out after the clean-up session ends and the bedtime routine begins, Mom picks up and takes possession of for the next 24 hours. So if the kids want to keep their toys, they’ve got to clean them up off the playroom floor. Otherwise, they’re mine.

 

This has been a fairly effective policy for managing the messes around my house. However, the littlest cleaner found a loophole last week. After our clean up session had ended, we moved to the bedrooms to start getting ready for bed. And what did I discover when I entered the girls’ bedroom? The floor was covered with items that had formerly been littering the playroom floor. Hannah had not actually been putting her toys away; she had just been moving the mess.

 

“Hannah,” I said, “moving the mess is not the same as taking care of the mess. You’ve only created more problems for yourself now, because the stuffed animals that you want for bed are not in your bed, but still all packed up in this backpack. And clean up time is over. Now we’re getting ready for bed, and you won’t have the things you need for bed.”

 

A resigned answer followed, “Sorry Mom.”

 

Yes, it was a quick fix to unpack the stuffies from the bag that she needed for bed. But a spiritual lesson hit me as we talked about moving the mess. Something I have struggled with in the past is spending too much time venting my frustrations or spreading outright negative talk when I’m upset. If you think about it, this is just like moving the mess. I’m upset about something, but instead of actually taking care of the mess, I’m just offloading it onto other people. There are certainly times where it is appropriate to discuss a problem or emotion with a close trusted friend. I have a few of those friends in my pocket, and they are more valuable than gold to me.

 

But what I’m talking about here is the times we unnecessarily bring negativity into an environment by being overly negative about something or someone. For example, on a recent Sunday, I was frustrated about some issues we were having with a volunteer shortage. I was venting my frustrations to a coworker when another dear volunteer greeted me. He immediately sensed my frustrations and asked me about it. I tried to grin and downplay it, but the damage was done. I had allowed my negativity, my mess, to move into two other lives, instead of simply releasing it to the Lord and trusting that he was going to take care of my volunteer situation (which he 100% did!). I had lost an opportunity to have a positive conversation with my volunteer, and I moved my mess into his space.

 

In other instances, we may be upset with a specific person, but instead of going to that person, we go to someone else. We move the mess of hurt or frustration from our own hearts to someone totally outside the situation. As a verbal processor, I understand that this is sometimes helpful in working through my thoughts and emotions. But the words I choose to speak into existence about others have power. And they have the power to build someone else’s perception of that person, too. Wouldn’t it be better to do my verbal processing with God, and then go directly to the person who hurt me or upset me? Otherwise, I’m not really taking care of the mess, I’m just moving it. Case in point, my kids come to me ALL. THE. TIME. when they are upset with another sibling. They want me to handle the mess. Now that my kids are 11, 8, and 5, there are a lot of messes that they can handle for themselves. They know what to do when someone hurts their feelings, or physically accosts them, or won’t share! So when they come complaining to me, I’ve started to send them directly to the person who offended them. I listen and decide for myself if they can appropriately handle the dispute, and usually they can. I’m not the one who needs to know about their hurt feelings – the one who hurt them is! How many times have I been guilty of moving my mess in the same way? Instead of going to the person who upset me, I unload on someone else. The mess isn’t taken care of because the person who upset me never even knows about it to be given the chance to fix it. Then the hurt stays in my heart and the relationship is damaged. There’s no advantage to moving messes in these situations.

 

Ephesians 4:29 is a verse I memorized a long time ago to help deal with this wild mouth of mine. It says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

 

What if we all did this? What if we did our verbal processing with God and then went directly to the person who offended us so that our relationship could be strengthened through forgiveness and grace and open communication? And what if, when circumstances disappoint us, we take those feelings to God, and speak positively, with faith, about the situation even when it doesn’t look good? Think of how uplifting our conversations would be if we quit verbally dumping all the time and instead tried to meet the checklist in Ephesians 4:29!

 

Nothing unwholesome.

 

Helpful for building others up.

 

Focusing on others’ needs.

 

Benefitting anyone who is listening.

 

This is a hard list for me. But I know it’s good. If all believers put this into practice, our world would be a very different place!

 

Are you guilty of moving messes too? Is there a mess you can take care of today? Seek the Lord for an opportunity to clean up your messes today so they don’t cause more problems down the road.

 

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Living Hope

I recently had the privilege of bringing an advent message on living hope to our church family. The need for hope extends beyond the walls of my church, so I am sharing bits and pieces of it here on my blog as well. I pray that this Christmas you find a living hope that changes the way you live your life. It is found in Jesus. I know because I have it, through him.

 

What is hope? As I went to different definitions of the word, I came away with three components that I think are vital for real living hope: expectation, trust, and confidence.

 

As I was preparing this message, I contemplated those three-ingredient recipes that are so popular right now. For instance, sugar, peanut butter, and eggs. Combine those together and you’ve got a tasty peanut butter cookie. But if you minus one of the ingredients, then you won’t have the right product. I think our recipe for hope is similar. To live with hope that is real, deep, meaningful, impactful, you need all three – expectation, trust, and confidence.

 

I like this three-ingredient definition of hope because it conveys something deeper than, “I hope it doesn’t rain today,” or, “I hope we aren’t getting sick.” These are like statements of wish, chance, or luck. Real hope is not built on wish, chance, or luck. Real hope is built on confident expectation, rooted in trust. Living hope changes our mindset and changes the way we live. Real hope makes an old man and an old woman in Luke 2 keep showing up day after day at the temple: because they actually EXPECT that day to be THE DAY. They are confident in the ability of God to fulfill the promise he made to them, and they trust his character to fulfill it, too. It has been 400 years since the promise of a Messiah was last offered, and yet here they are living like the promise is coming true each and every day.

 

Simeon, verse 25 says, was “waiting for the consolation of Israel,” which is the Messiah. And verse 26 continues, “It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Christ.” You don’t wait on something unless you believe it’s coming. I’m not going to stand in my driveway day after day and wait for a brand new camper to be delivered — because I haven’t purchased one or been promised one. I don’t believe one is going to show up. We have to expect that something is coming to spend our precious lives waiting on it! And this is one Simeon does.

 

He is living each day as if this promise is 100% true. This is hope. Living with expectation, trust and confidence that the promises God has made to us are 100% true. For Simeon it has to go beyond wishful thinking, because it’s affecting the way he lives his life. When we have living hope, it changes the way we live. We show up, every day, expecting good things, full of confidence and trust in what God is doing.

 

When Simeon and Anna saw Jesus, they knew he was their living hope – their promise fulfilled. Jesus is still our living hope today.  Are you living like it?

 

Are you showing up each day like Simeon and Anna expecting the promises of God to be true in your life?

Are you living like you’ve been set free, like there’s no condemnation?

Are you living like every chain has been broken?

Are you living like you are loved?

 

Every circumstance you experience can be lived with living hope. When your eyes have seen your Messiah, you can EXPECT good.

 

Simeon and Anna lived each day in full hope, confident, expectant trust, on God’s promise to them that a Messiah was coming. What promise of God do you need to bring into view today? His Word is full of TRUE promises for you and for me. But do we live like it? I’ll share a personal example of how hope has changed my outlook on my circumstances.

 

Most of you know that my family has been going through a difficult time as my mom battles breast cancer for the second time in her life. This summer as her diagnosis came, and the news kept coming up worse and then worse still, despair would often creep in on me. I lost my dad in 2020, so my mom is all I have left, and on top of that, she is notably my best friend. My prayers were often filled with desperation: “Lord, I can’t lose my mom!” Whether you can identify with my situation personally or not, I am sure that there has been a time in your life when you’ve prayed a prayer of desperation. Your soul feels despair, not hope.

 

What God helped me to see was that when we are in the middle of these storms and we need to regain our hope, we can look up, we can look beyond our circumstances. Psalm 121 says, “I lift my eyes up to the hills – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.” Also consider: “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Cor 4:18)

 

Look beyond your circumstances.

Look beyond your feelings.

Look to what is true.

 

What living hope looked like for me was God changing my desperate prayer of “I can’t lose my mom,” to a prayer of confident expectation: “I can’t lose my mom… she’s mine for eternity.” God’s word tells me this is true. There are countless scriptures that I can place my hope in.

 

John 10:28-29 “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.”

 

if I believe these verses to be true, then I have HOPE no matter what the outcome is for my mom’s illness.

 

There is confidence for me in these verses, there is expectation, and there is trust. I am confident that God is ABLE. He is able to heal her here on earth, or in heaven. I trust that his character is good, and he will only do what is best for my family. I fully expect him to fulfill his promise that my mom is redeemed, chosen, loved, protected, etc etc. Do you see how this changes my outlook? Hope moved me from desperation to confidence, expectation, and trust.

 

How do you get there though? Maybe you have a desperate situation running through your head right now, and you’d really love to move from despair to living hope. How? I really want this message to be actionable for you.

 

I encourage you to recognize that hope is rooted in what is true. If your thoughts are dwelling in worry, fear, doubts, and lies, then you are not setting your mind on things above, as Colossians 3:2 instructs. Hope is a mindset that is built on things that are true about God. And just like with Simeon and Anna, when we have living hope, it changes the way we live, even if our circumstances haven’t changed. So whatever situation you find yourself needing hope, I encourage you to choose a truth about God that you feel speaks to your situation. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you to the right verse. Set your mind on that truth, rather than on the lies and worries crowding your mind. Memorize it, post it where you can see it, say it over and over again.

 

Allow the Holy Spirit to give you eyes see that God’s promise is true for you. He can turn your prayer of desperation to a prayer of confidence. From, “I can’t mess this up again” (desperate) to “I can’t mess this up because my God is in control.” From, “I can’t fix this person” (desperate) to “I can’t fix this person, and it’s not my job to fix them.” From “I’m never going to overcome this sin” to “there is no condemnation and I am more than a conqueror.” We serve a limitless God! A limitless God! There’s no need for desperate “I can’ts” in your life. Hope is available to you today.

 

Hope is available to you today because 2000 years ago this promise was fulfilled when a little baby was born. Our Messiah. This Christmas the words of his angels to the shepherds are his words to you: “Fear not! For behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be for all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.” (Luke 2:10-11)

 

Because your Messiah has come:

Your broken heart can be mended.

You are given freedom from captivity.

Your prison doors have been opened. Are you going to walk through?

And to those who are mourning this Christmas, your Messiah promises comfort.

 

You are not defeated.

You don’t have to live in fear and anxiety.

You are set free and not condemned.

Your chains are broken forever, sin has no hold on you.

You are adopted and chosen as part of God’s family. No one can snatch you from his hand.

 

This is LIVING HOPE.

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The Blinding Rain

Early this year I was caught driving in a rainstorm. I had a premonition, if such things exist, that it would be a doozy as the clouds rolled in. I’ve only seen clouds like that a few times in my nearly 40 years. (YIKES!)  Why, you ask, did I go out if I knew a bad storm was on the way? It was time to pick my children up from school. And I thought I could beat it. Foolishness. I’ve driven for over 20 years, in a lot of bad weather. I mean, I live in Ohio! I got my learner’s permit (as it was called back in the day) in the middle of January and drove in snow in my first few weeks behind the wheel. Whatever was coming in that storm, I knew I could handle it. HA!

Never before have I experienced a torrential rain so heavy that it was literally blinding. As it first started to pour, I thought I should decrease my vehicle speed so as to see better and increase my wiper speed to move the water faster. Well, I did that, and it didn’t help much. So I slowed down even more. Now, keep in mind, this is a road I drive multiple times a day every day on the Mom Taxi service route. I know it WELL. You know the kind that you can drive in your sleep because it’s so familiar. But this day, the blinding rain was just that, blinding. I had literally no idea where I was on the road. I was waiting for a funnel cloud to descend at any moment and suck my van to the sky. I was shaking and terrified.

 

While I couldn’t see the road in front of me, I knew that to stop in the road would be equally dangerous, because anyone coming down the road behind me would not be able to see my white van. So I crept forward what felt like an inch at a time, looking for a place to pull off. Ahead loomed a shadow. Was it a barn or a tornado? I wasn’t sure, but I took a chance and pulled off, feeling certain I was driving straight into the ditch. Thank the Lord it was a driveway. I pulled closer to the shadow, a barn (not tornado!), and found the cover of some trees.

And I waited.

 

As the storm subsided and my shaking began to settle, I called my husband to let him know I was alright and to get back on the road. (And he told me about the baseball sized hail that had been falling at our house!) What an experience!

 

When I drive the road to school now, months after this experience, I can still remember it so clearly, and I still notice the barn that led me to the safety of a driveway in the blinding rain. But what struck me about this whole experience was the lesson on waiting. Sometimes, try as we may, we cannot see the way forward in life. We have the premonition that a bad storm of life is rolling our way, and before long, we can’t see straight through all the turmoil of that storm. Perhaps our circumstances are confusing, our emotions are blinding us, the choices are immobilizing.

 

As we considered cancer treatment options with my mom this summer, many of those factors – circumstances, emotions, choices – left us struggling to see the way forward. I loved my mom’s posture of faith: “I will wait until God shows me what to do. He has always been faithful. I know he will show me. Until then, I will wait.” Her faith has been an example to me, and because of her example I feel more confident when I choose to wait on the Lord instead of rushing ahead because I like action and forward movement.

 

Sometimes waiting out the storm of life – circumstances and emotions – is truly our best option. We can trust that God is still leading us even when we feel like we are blinded to the way forward. If we can’t see the next move (or the next inch of the road!) then perhaps the best choice is to simply wait, wait until he illuminates our next steps. Find a place of refuge, and simply wait on him.

 

For those of us who like action and forward motion, this can be difficult. But Scripture has many references to waiting on the Lord.

 

Psalm 27:14 says: “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”

 

Lamentations 3:25 says: “The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.”

 

Psalm 130: 5-6 says: “I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.”

 

Exodus 14:14 says: “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

 

Isaiah 64:4 says: “From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him.”

 

If you find yourself blinded to the way forward right now, take some time to wait on the Lord and trust that he will show you the way forward. He always has before. And when you feel his direction, step out in confidence and faith, knowing that you’re not leading from your own will, but you’re following the One on whom you waited patiently. And all these things said about Him in these verses above will be true in your circumstances: The Lord will be good to you. The Lord will fight for you. The Lord will act on your behalf. His Word will bring you hope. Your heart will find courage. It’s ok to wait until you hear from him.

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But I Can’t

Two of my least favorite words in the English language are “I can’t.”

 

Of course it is disappointing to hear these words when you’re asking someone if they can get together with you or help you with something. But what I’m talking more about is when they are spoken in a self-limiting way. My kids say this all the time when they are facing something difficult. “I can’t understand this math homework.” Or “I can’t fix this toy” or “I can’t complete this chore.” As we grow older, the challenges become more difficult: “I can’t work out the solution to this parenting problem.” “I can’t improve my health.” “I can’t make this marriage work.” “I can’t find a job.” “I can’t lose this weight.” This list goes on and on. But I wish we would strike those words from our vocabulary.

 

As believers in Jesus, we serve a limitless God. With him, there literally is not “can’t.” So why do we limit ourselves or focus on our deficiencies or our lack when we are invited to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit who lives in us? Yes, some things are really difficult. But when we confess “I can’t” in a self-limiting way we are usually selling ourselves short.

Years ago I volunteered at a wonderful Christian camp called Cross Training Camp. Some of my favorite relationships were born there, and certainly my love of children’s ministry. On this campground, there was an obstacle course. It was somewhat infamous I think among the younger campers who were new to the program. The Obstacle Course. Dun-dun-dun! It had some challenges for sure, like a giant cargo net some 15 feet tall that had to be climbed, a zip line which crossed a creek from one steep bank to another, and of course, the WALL. The whole course concluded with a 10 foot wall that had to be climbed, but there were no handholds.

The cargo net

Often my role at camp was not as a squad leader but as a leader who supported the squad leaders and their squads. So when my squad leaders were first running the course with their groups, I’d head down with them to help support them through the obstacles. I’ll never forget one camper, 8 years old, Ashley. First year camper. She was totally overwhelmed by the obstacles. And so I took her for a walk. I really had no idea how to talk her through her fears. But I believe God spoke up when I asked her to not focus on “I can’t.” Rather, to spend the week seeing what might be possible for her, to focus instead on what “I can” do. It was like her brain flipped a switch mentally when she started to wonder what she was capable of instead of limiting herself. And of course by the end of the week, so was conquering those obstacles with the best of them. I’m quite sure I had tears in my eyes when Ashley popped over the wall. It was a beautiful moment.

I saw a lot of campers over the years do things that they never thought were possible when they started their week at CTC. Those years formed a valuable mindset for me to never limit myself as I met challenges, to persevere and to never give up. This mindset has been so important as I’ve faced the difficulties of special needs parenting, among the other challenges that adult life has brought my way. Let’s not focus on what we can’t do. Let’s just explore what we can do and see what happens.

Look how cute she is in her kayak! Little Ashley!

Our mindset is vitally important in the way we tackle life’s obstacles. Are we focused on what we lack? On our limitations? Or are we focused on what we may be able to do if we try? When I get tempted to fall into “I can’t” thinking, I remind myself of the words in Romans 8:11 “The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you.” Yes, we are still limited by time, space, and our human bodies, but we don’t need to place limitations on ourselves when we’re up against an obstacle in life, because the Spirit of God, who raised Jesus to life, lives. in. us. “If God is for us, who can be against us?” Paul asks later in the same chapter of Romans (v 31). When we are walking in the good works he prepared in advance for us to do (Eph 2:10), then we don’t need to think, I can’t make time for that, I can’t do that, I can’t start that, I can’t lead that, I can’t parent through that, I can’t overcome that. 2 Peter 1:3 tells us “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” Everything we need. It’s right there.

[Caveat: This is not a post against boundaries. I have firm boundaries in my life to protect my rest, my peace, and my sanity. This is not a “say yes to everything” post. Our human limitations are real, and we need to obey God’s mandate that we take time for rest in our lives. We say yes only to what He is asking us to do, the best yes. It’s ok to say no to things that are outside the scope of what he has called us to. It’s ok to say no when our lives and bodies need a break. I am all about boundaries and rest.]  

What I am encouraging you to do is to avoid limiting yourself when you face a challenge. Maybe on your own you can’t, but you never know what you might be able to accomplish if you try with God’s help and his limitless power behind you. The next time you find yourself up against a wall in life, remember that God’s limitless Spirit lives in you, and you are equipped to accomplish all that he has called you to in Christ Jesus.

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Seen

Last week we joined the droves of people heading out for our annual candy collection on Halloween. The kids counted down for days until Trick or Treat finally arrived. This year we had a pilgrim, a hunter, and a ballerina.

We actually had good weather this year, which really brought out the crowds. We started out on the city block where we used to live, and at first there weren’t that many people walking the sidewalks with us. But as we headed for our second block, the crowds really ticked up. Our youngest can be a bit clingy in a crowd, so I was pleasantly surprised that she was running up ahead of us with her brother and sister. After retrieving her candy from each porch, she would turn around and make eye contact with me, making sure she knew exactly where I was. After we entered one particularly crowded area, I could see her scanning the crowd, searching faces for mine. There was just enough time looking that I thought she might start to cry. But I had my eye on her the whole time. I waved and called her name. When she spotted me, relief visibly washed over her face, and she said, “There you are!”  

I responded, “You may have lost sight of me, but I never lost sight of you.”  

Something resonated in my spirit when I said that…. How many times have we lost sight of the Lord and where he’s working, or what he’s doing. And yet, he has never lost sight of us. Or maybe we have strayed away from him, we have wandered so far that he’s no longer even in our vision. But he’s never lost sight of us.  He is the God who sees you.  

This name for the Lord comes from an unlikely female character in the Bible. Hagar, the female servant to Sarai, wife of Abram, became pregnant by Abram at Sarai’s request, but then an embittered Sarai drove Hagar away, to the point where she is running literally out into the desert. Who knows where she thought she was going – perhaps it was an “anywhere but here” type of scenario for Hagar. She’s hiding out by a spring when the angel of the Lord finds her, and he makes her a promise that everything is going to be alright with her son who will be called Ishmael. Hagar responds, “You are the God who sees me.” (Gen 16) I love this! In the middle of her running, her hiding, in the middle of her desert place, Hagar knows she is seen by God. No matter where we’re running or hiding or how far we’ve gone, God still sees us.  The words of Psalm 139 remind us of this truth as well:  

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

There is no place you can be that is so far away that God loses sight of you. No matter if your life feels like a wasteland, or a chaotic crowd, God has his eye on you. Just like I had my loving, protective eye on my daughter at trick or treat, God has his loving eye on each of his children. He knows your name, and he’s calling out to you. When you turn around, he will be faithful to be there. Today if you feel like you’re lost in a crowd or hidden in a desert, I encourage you to pray a prayer that I have prayed many times: “God, I need to know that you see me today.” God has never failed to answer this prayer for me when I pray it. I believe he loves showing us not only that he sees us, but how he sees us. You are not lost or hidden from the eyes of your loving Father. I pray that you feel seen today by the God of Hagar, the God who sees.

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What’s Your Soil Like?

I love a good visual aide for learning. Take a look at these root clumps that I recently lifted from my dahlias. I’ve placed them on a paper dinner plate for size reference.

Purple Dahlia Tuber #1
Purple Dahlia Tuber #2
Red Dahlia Tuber #1
Red Dahlia Tuber #2

These two sets of clumps are the exact same variety of flower and each originated from a single tuber that I planted. They were packaged together and likely came from the same original clump of tubers that was split. But look at the size difference after one growing season. I was astonished by the amount of growth in the bigger sets.  What is the singular difference between the tuber that grew into a large clump and the tuber whose growth was small and stunted?

The soil.  

The larger clumps developed from a single tuber planted in a newly turned garden area of rich soil. The smaller clumps came out of my infamous hillside garden full of dry sandy soil. It’s easy to tell which soil was a better growing environment for the tubers.  

This got me thinking about my own growth as a wife, mother, and follower of Jesus. If I took a look, would I be astonished by the amount of growth that’s happened in the past seven months? Or would I find only meager progress and limited life developing? What is the quality of my growing environment, or my soil, if you will?  

If I am assessing my actual garden soil, I am going to consider its contents and whether it has the right nutrients for good plant growth, things like nitrogen, potassium and phosphorus. If my soil is deficient in these things, then despite my watering of the plants, and the hours of sunlight the plants receive, the growth will not happen. Both of my tubers pictured received the same amount of sunlight and water, but the growth outcome was very different. The soil is the key.  

What is the soil of my life like? What are the key ingredients that make up my growing environment? Does it have key nutrients like prayer, rest, solitude, time in the Word of God, service, healthy boundaries? If these ingredients are lacking, then for me, growth will also be lacking.  

Or is my soil comprised of anxious thoughts, busyness and weariness (they go hand in hand!), selfishness, toxic relationships, constant noise, fear, anger, comparison? The list goes on an on, and for you maybe the toxic soil composition is different – substance abuse, obsession with something, addiction, perfectionism, critical thoughts, stress. There are many killing ingredients we can allow to be in our soil that will inhibit our growth. 

If today you’re assessing your own growth and your own soil and you find it lacking healthy nutrients, then start making small changes. (Too many abrupt changes for a plant can also lead to its demise!) One step is a good step. It doesn’t need to be many steps or big steps to make a big difference. Look at the good list above – what can you add to your environment? Worship music playing quietly in your home in the morning as everyone is starting their day? A faith-based podcast on your commute? A weekend free of event after event so that you can rest? A 15-minute devotion to end your day? Setting aside your phone for an afternoon regardless of who is texting you for emotional support? (You don’t have to be at everyone’s beck and call 24 hours a day!)

Boundaries are healthy. Rest is healthy. Solitude is healthy. Time in God’s presence (prayer, worship, Word) is healthy.

If you want to see more growth, try adding some of these things to your soil. When you reassess in a few months, I pray you are surprised to find bountiful growth, producing beautiful fruit in your own life!  

“But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.” (Luke 8:15) 

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5) 

“Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress.” (I Timothy 4:15) 

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

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The Backpack

It’s been a few months since I’ve made time for blogging. Life got real lifey this summer when we had some major changes taking place with close family members. On top of that, the littlest Burleigh started preschool this fall, so I’ve added an additional drop off and pick up location and time to the Mom Taxi service schedule. How can one little change like that make us moms feel like we’re running around with our hair on fire!? Writing took a backseat while I processed a lot of these late summer changes. Some of the things we were going through weren’t really mine to share first, and I owed it to my family members to let them share on their own timeline.

 

To be honest, I didn’t also know what to write about or how to begin processing the weight that I was feeling, in particular from my mom’s cancer diagnosis, among the other shifts happening in our life. I just felt heavy.

 

I didn’t stop pressing in to my faith through all of this, even though I paused writing about it. So now I want to share part of what I learned in hopes that it will help someone else who’s lugging around some heaviness in their life.

 

I love a good object lesson, and the one that God impressed on me in this season was a backpack. I was carrying around many heavy things in my metaphorical backpack. In particular, I felt very burdened about my mom’s health. We had a lot of big decisions to make regarding her treatment plan.  It’s also not easy to consider and to face the mortality of our parents. This among other things was the heaviness I was feeling, just like an overloaded, weighty backpack.

 

The Scripture that I have clung to in this intense season we have been going through is Matthew 11:28-30. It has come up continually and everywhere in my life. The verses say, “Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

 

Through this Scripture, I felt God asking me to take off my backpack. Big problems and small problems alike, He showed me that none of these were my burdens to carry. Jesus offers me his yoke, his way to bear the weight of my problems – it’s through entrusting them to him.

 

The problems of life will never go away – we live in a broken world. But if we continue to carry the weight of our problems, have we truly entrusted them to him? Is there really such a thing as “trying” to trust God? As my five-year-old pointed out at random one day in the car, we either do trust, or we don’t! There’s no in between. You’re either bearing the weight of the backpack, or you’re not.

 

Jesus offers us a better way to live in the midst of our trials, that’s his yoke, and according to his words, it’s easy. When we trust him with the weight of our burdens, things that truly are not ours to carry in the first place, we can experience the rest he described in Matthew.

 

As I chose trust, I began to experience God’s peace. As I began to focus on all that is true about God and all that he is able to do, the weight that I was carrying lifted. I decided that no matter what I did, or what we decided, God was able to handle the outcome. There wasn’t any wrong decision we could make that would be impossible for him to correct. I’m not responsible for my mom’s life – that’s a God-sized job! Phew – talk about lifting the pressure! Some of us need to realize that we weren’t created for that kind of pressure. We aren’t God! We’re not powerful enough to derail his plans!

 

This summer I saw my mom through two surgeries and the decision to begin chemotherapy this fall. Those are big, weighty decisions. But God led every step of the way, and I can honestly say that I have walked and am continuing to walk with peace through those things. It’s all because I made the decision to trust him. I took off the backpack, left it at the cross. I’m embracing his yoke, the Jesus way, walking in peace, rest, and freedom from heavy burdens I was never made to carry. He’s been right there with me, bearing the weight of it all.

 

Are you ready to walk that way? Today can be your day – Take off your backpack, leave it at the cross, walk in Jesus’ yoke, experience his rest and peace. Your problems with be there either way, but you have the privilege of being invited to trust Jesus. He’ll carry the weight for you if you allow him. Choose trust. You will not regret it.

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Weeds (Part 1): No Vacancy

 

Last winter we moved into a new home that had been vacant for some time. When we purchased the house in February, the property was completely covered in snow. We had no idea what surprises the grounds might hold for us. As spring emerged and the snow melted, I could see where old flower beds had been. And where plants had accidentally been moved when the yard was bulldozed! And as you can imagine, I could see how overgrown the beds and yard were with weeds because no one had lived there to tend them in some time. We began working on our flowerbeds last spring, and they have come a long, long way. It has been rewarding to see the transformation this spring as all my new plants have sprouted stronger and larger than last spring.

Unfortunately, along with them, the weeds have also sprouted. There is one particular flower bed that has been my nemesis. It rests mostly on a steep sandstone hill. Did you know there aren’t a lot of plants that like to grow on a sandstone hill, or in soil comprised heavily of sand? It’s been a battle finding things to grow in this large hillside flowerbed. An expensive battle. I’ve spent hours clearing weeds out of this bed, only to have them come right back because this is a huge flowerbed, and it would take me hundreds of dollars to fill it up with desirable plants that enjoy growing in desert like soil. So we’re in the long game with the weeds. I can’t put plants into all the places where the weeds were removed, so the weeds find their old home vacant, and they return.

When I was weeding this past week, God reminded me of the story that Jesus told to the religious leaders in Matthew 12 about the vacancies that impure spirits leave when they are cast out of a person.

“When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, “I will return to the house I left.” When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean, and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.”  (43-45)

What in the world does this have to do with me and my weeds? Or my life?

Lately I’ve been battling some anxiety and fear. I’m not a person given to anxious thoughts, but there have been seasons where I have felt intense anxiety, especially when it comes to my kids. Maybe you don’t think of anxiety or fear as “impure spirits,” but if you think about it … Where do they come from? Certainly not God’s kingdom or his heart! Fear and anxiety were crafted in the pits of hell to keep believers immobilized and ineffective. So I think that classifies them as impure spirits. I firmly believe that the enemy uses these forces to wage war on my mind and to keep me from being effective as a wife, mom, friend, and kingdom worker. Anxiety can be immobilizing. You’re just frozen in life because you’re so afraid that the wrong thing is coming down the pike. When anxious thoughts send me spiraling, I know I need to cast them out, just like the impure spirits Jesus is describing in Matthew 12. But how do I ensure that I don’t encounter the problem Jesus describes in this passage? How do I avoid having the house of my mind “unoccupied?”

When I am battling the forces of evil in my life (not just the weeds, friends), I cannot simply cast those things out and leave the mental space empty. Because the evil will try to come right back. Just like my weeds come right back to the empty spaces in my garden, the fears and anxieties that I struggle with return to the empty spaces in my heart and mind.

If I want to effectively battle fear and anxiety, I need to not leave the empty space available in my mind for those things to return. How do I do that? My weapon of choice is the Word of God. On my own, I cannot stand up to and defeat the forces of evil in my life, but with God’s Word in hand, I can. During a particularly intense spiral last week, I simply repeated over and over in my mind verses and words from the Psalms about trusting in God and about God’s protection. What I’m choosing to think about matters greatly, and I don’t want the forces of darkness that are searching for a place to land to check out my mind and find a vacancy where they can reside. I want my mind so full of God’s truth that there is no room for the lies of the enemy to dwell. 

(As a side note, please understand, I know that there are many people who struggle with crippling anxiety at all times. My heart goes out to you, because my MOMENTS of anxiety can overwhelm me. I can’t imagine living with it all the time. And I understand that this is a clinical, medical, brain balance issue that sometimes needs much more than what I’m describing in this blog. What I’m describing here is my own battle, which I believe has spiritual origins.)

The other thing about weeds is that they have roots. Sometimes the roots are deep, and sometimes the roots are strong. When I think about the anxieties that seem to plague me – they’re always the same ones, and I’m willing to bet you have your same set that plagues you too – I know that they have roots in my past. I’ve experienced things and the enemy has lied to me in those situations about who I am and who God is. It’s the lie I’ve bought into that has rooted itself into the current weeds of my life. Weeds can’t be destroyed in the flowerbed or in my life unless I get to the root. I need to be honest with God about the lies I have believed and ask his Holy Spirit to show me those lies and help me choose to believe the truth instead. When I can discern the root and deal with the lie, then I am on my way to healing. And when the flowerbed, or my mind, has been cleaned out, I need to fill it up with God’s truth to ensure there is no vacancy for new “weeds.”

We need to realize that we are not victims or captives to our own thoughts and minds. We do have control over what we think about and what we choose to believe. When I feel fear rising up, I can replace those thoughts with the truth about God’s goodness and trustworthiness. Choosing to trust God instead of giving way to anxiety brings peace, freedom, and lightness to my life.

Maybe someday I’ll have my hillside garden completely free of weeds and full of only great big, beautiful plants. But every time I weed, you can be sure it will be a reminder to think about what I’m thinking about and what I’m making space for in my mind!

 

Love my patio flowerbed!
Andrew rebuilt this retaining wall area and flowerbed this spring!
I spy a few weeds in this bed!

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